Ten Commandments for Classical Students

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before Syntax.

2. Thou shalt not set up unto thyself modern authorities: thou shalt bow thyself down before the original sources, and them only shalt they serve.

3. Thou shalt not take the name of the latest German in vain; for the reviewers will not hold him guiltless that taketh the name of a German in vain.

4. Remember thine author: peradventure he is not spurious.

5. Honor prose composition, when thou teachest: that thy pupils may rejoice and thy pile of exercise books increase before thine eyes.

6. Thou shalt not murder thy native language.

7. Thou shalt read the journals.

8. Thou shalt pronounce proper nouns: moreover, thou shalt pronounce them fluently.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against the text of a poet by filling up the lacunae therein, until thou shalt have transposed the verses and turned them end for end.

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s horse. 

Google Trends

The ‘hot 100′ (http://www.google.com/trends/hottrends?sa=X) is headed by Susie Sprague Feldman. I’ve never heard of her, and her name makes me think of a Russian space-aeronautics agency.

Number three on the list is ‘harry potter missing pages’. Given the many thousands of pages in all the tomes, who would notice if a few were missing?

Beverly d’Angelo turns up twice on the list: ‘beverly deangelo’ at #48 and ‘beverly d angelo’ at #53. As far as any reading of the trend here goes, it appears as if people who can’t spell her name are in the majority.

The only politician name I recognize on the list is John Ashcroft at #49. Politicians take note: nobody is interested in you.

A Microsoft Mystery: Solved!

Ever since Microsoft introduced Windows, people have asked, “Why do I have to press the ’start’ button to stop the program?” Here, in an Internet exclusive (yes, you read it here first in the lunchroom), Bill Gates designed Windows to operate like a pipe organ. For those of you who might not be familiar with pipe organs, you have to pull the ’stops’ in order to start playing the instrument. So, there.

Rare book!

He must have had another, less talked-about epiphany after that stage curtain caught fire on the opening night of the Wall concerts.